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[07 Dec 2003|01:49am] |
   
im just testing my smileys out. bye.
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[18 Oct 2003|12:51am] |
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if you dont wanna read my shit then dont read it. im not even forcing you to read it. and i dont know how some people know my livejournal or anything that leads to my personal life online. dude. why do people have a journal or a whatever online? to get rid of boredom/got nothing else better to do/or they just wanna say somehting hella bad. i dont know how many times i gotta say this but IF YOU DONT WANNA READ IT I AINT MAKING YOU! AND IF YOU HAPPEN TO READ MY SHIT. IF YOU DONT GOT NOTHING NICE TO SAY THEN DONT SAY IT. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. for reals tho. i dont want no negative shit around me. i know im dumb. fat. ugly. and etc. you dont gotta tell me. cuz i know. i even admit it myself. im mad at the fact that you just dont leave your name or something or the reason why you're so mad at me or hating me. im not trying to be on everybody's bad side ok. i just dont want no haters this year. yea i know im dumb but this year i just wanna focus on school. even tho i aint gonna go to a state or a UC. but still. i get to learn something even tho i dont have a good future. so please. understand that i dont want more drama in my life that i already have. you can fucking talk shit about me over next summer. you can talk all the shit you want. and if you do hate me then tell me why. dont gotta bunch it up and shit.
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[13 Oct 2003|07:12pm] |
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all i gotta say is UGH!!!! love is warm embrace. gentle. kind. welcoming. not fucking hurting. pain. heart break. tough. rough. how the fuck are you gonna do that shit? thats the real you. thats how you really are huh?! at one point you are gonna show your true self and you showed it alright. you showed it by fucking hurting. WDF IS YOUR PROBLEM?!!? HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO THAT!! UGH. HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU. WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU ARE. watch out. later on. no one will be on your side. people will hate you. only time will tell. you'll see in the future.
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[27 Sep 2003|09:04pm] |
*sigh* wassup lately? nothing much. i know my hgs be in some shit. i hope evrything will work out. i really do. i dont want them to whatever in senior year. but i got a feeling its gonna be all koo. i think i love *him* a lot. but it seems like it just a waste of time. i hella like him. hes everything i ever wanted. i mean yea i know no one is perfect. but hes the closest thing that comes to it. and when i think about him. it makes me cry. i cry cuz he cant be by my side. i cant feel comfort from him. i dont know what hes been doing. and we had a little argument yesterday. *sigh* i think im pathetic again. *sigh*
anyways! good stuff. where should i start? i took my senior portraits and i really smile in one of my pictures. and the rest was like damn. im tired of smiling. im really happy i got that shit over. im soo happy. less stress now. and i wanna thank my HG SAO JANE cuz she went with me to take my senior portraits. both times. i mean first time, they werent there so like it was a waste of time. and the second time they were there. and she was the one who did my hair like straighten it and fixed it. she sucha darling. hehe. and PA studios. im happy that its gonna be a whole day thing. morning til night (dinner). i hope everything goes will tho. i seriously dont want shit to happen. if you know what i mean. im really excited for it too. =) 3 more months? its gonna go by fast. hehe. i talked with michelle online and we had a brillant idea. hehe. since me and michelle (wong) wanna be like fashion designers, we might wanna be partners and make up a clothes line called *PA*. and like design clothes for like teenagers/babies/toddlers/youngsters/adults/anybody. ita very interesting idea dont you think? i think so. i mean like if you cant handle it yourself then ask someone to help you. hehe. michelle was looking for another person to be interested in fashion designing and here i am! haha. well. now. i dont what else to say. so. bye!
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[23 Sep 2003|07:39pm] |
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i do chill with different groups. haha. i have my charlie's angel group (573 and 418). the crazy group (36. 125. 63. 803) and PA group (perfect angelz) (101. 129. 716. 415. 618. 817. and another person who should be nameless) haha. not trying to hate. im not even hating. just wanna put her nameless. i hardly chill with PA. i mean once in a while. and i dont chill with everyone of them at the same time too. miss chilling with them sometimes. but yea. we got a plan to go take studios around winter break. hehe. *our tradition*. i didnt notice until recently. and theyve been keeping track. haha. dang. but for reals. PA been going on since freshmen year. i remember what happen each year of the day of the studio. hehe. and like yea. some ups and downs. gotta make senior year good. i gotta go to my sister's house bye.
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[23 Sep 2003|05:38pm] |
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*sigh* lately ive been busy. bored. watching tv. or out. i had fun. *hmm* man dont seem like im interested in writing in this anymore. man the only time i write in it is when im HELLA bored. *sigh* gotta check my email. bye.
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| for my momma. |
[08 Sep 2003|07:18pm] |
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yesterday i was thinking about my mommy. i think my mommy is a kinda hearted woman. she dont get mad that much. i mean like she does. but not for a long time. and shes willing to help anytime. im really grateful to have her as my mommy. i know i dont communicate with her. but shes the best. i mean in my eyes. i love her very much. even tho i dont show it i know deep in my heart that i do. i wish she can live forever. it hurts me when she was in her room. trapping herself there cuz of the news she got from my relatives back in china. her brother aka my uncle has pasted away. i know she must have cried. and now it still hurts me to think of her crying. it hurts that it makes me cry you know. my mommy seem like a strong woman who dont show weakness. but hearing the news breaks down that wall. i remembered she didnt come out for the rest of the night. and my sister had to cook. i dont want my mommy to get hurt again. i really hope she doesnt go through it. i dont think i live without my mommy. i want her to see me get married and have kids. i want her to be smiling at me when im in my white wedding dress. and my red k-pao (the chinese dress). I LOVE MY MOMMY!! i admit im kinda spoil at times. i mean on food wise. hehe. when i go irving with her. i get all the food i want. and i hardly go shopping with her. but it ok. cuz like yea. i got my sisters for that! HAHA. all i wanna say is that: PEOPLE YOU SHOULD LOVE YOUR MOMMY NO MATTER WHAT! IM SERIOUS!
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[25 Aug 2003|09:50pm] |
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dude. i kinda dont like my schedule. =\ i like some of my classes but not all. ugh. no cutie. man. but then like yea. it koo tho. cuz i can concentrate on other stuff than guys. i was tired today. man. woke up at 7:30. another day of school. hmm. i dont know what else to say. oo yea. today was hot. and. well i cant say i hate but dislike my chem and spanish class. im sucha loner in those classes. and like mostly juniors and stuff. oo wells. maybe transfer out of chem? good idea or no? =\ oo wells. im just gonna relax now. update tomorrow or something.
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[23 Aug 2003|10:49am] |
*sigh* i just wanna shout out two people right now.
mike: im sorry for what had happen yesterday. i know you're going through a lot right now. but just rela once in a while. and im sorry that i dont know what to say to you cuz im never in that situation. but you know im always gonna be here. you can call me or whatever you like. i hope everything goes well for you. im always gonna be the friend who's always there no matter what happen in the past between us. just take care of yourself and dont stress yourself soo much.
jayson: THANK YOU SO MUCH GAW! i really like our friendship right now. sisterly and brotherly love. i can truely say that you turn my frown upside down and make my day brighter. im soo thankful. you're always there to talk to me when i needed. you're the guy i could talk to and wished for. i mean like people wish for someone to talk to and you're the one for me! lol. and its good that you come to me when you're down too. we are there for each other. lol. and i might need some favors from you? lol. (note to readers: i dont like jayson is THAT way. hes a good friend to have. and like ive known him for like a few years now. and of course there's some up hills and down hills.)
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[22 Aug 2003|11:01am] |
i went to GA on wednesday. and the yesterday was my rest day? hehe. and then yesterday i was feeling hella down that i cried. and someone came back! and then chatted with him for a little bit. and then later on i chatted with jayson. yup! thats jayson. the pimp jayson. anyways. hes my gaw gaw now. im happy that he is. hes there to lend me his ears. im so thankful! and who said that after a break up. it would ruin the friendship? cuz im telling you. if he still wanna be a close friend to you. and you wanna be a close friend to him then you guys will still talk and will still be close and still be friends. he made my night. i feel asleep with a happy smile. =) hes a really really good friend. haha. ill stop talking about him. hahaha. and no! i dont like him still. we got sisterly and brotherly love for each other. and thats all! =)
i want my hair to grow out!! i want my old length back. but i know im gonna go get my hair cut again. to like not make my hair soo layered like it is now. i want it to be long to the middle of my back. that would be good. for me. man. right now im thinking about prom! lol. i mena like my hair and stuff. but my cousin is gonna do it for me. hehe. so im gonna leave my hair long. and she can cut it if she needs too. hehe. dont worry. she works in a salon. so yea. and she cutted my hair. and like yea. =) prom! anyways. i got nothing to say anymore. i gotta finish the story online.
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[14 Aug 2003|09:04pm] |
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hmm. havent post for a while now. i went to tahoe on sunday night and then came back on wednesday. which is yesterday. its was nice of jamie and noreen to past by my house b4 i left for tahoe. really sweet. hehe. thanks you two. we just chilled and like yea. talked about some stuff. OMG. i had fun tho. i was lauffing. jamie and noreen was like hollering at guys in my house. i mean like they saw a guy walking by. and they're like *Oo dang. look at that ass!* LOL. soo funny. and they were hollering some more. haha. well. ill update some more later cuz rainier is gonna come by my house in 10 mins and i gotta get ready. bye.
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| my song. =\ |
[10 Aug 2003|01:37am] |
boyz 2 men - *i finally know*
(i did some of my own corrections. its not major that it soo different that its not the song no more.)
I've been searchin'
For the guys of my dreams
The one who'll give all of his love to me
You've been there as a friend indeed
Someone that I could depend
Through thick and thin
My strength when I wanted to give in
You're special to me
Made it easy when I felt lonely
If I only knew then what I know now
My search would've ended long ago
I finally know who he is
The boy you've been trying to help me find
And all of this time he's been right here
He's only around me when you are near
And you spend your time with him everyday
So you know he's perfect in every way
I've been looking for love, and he's looking at me
If you look in the mirror, you'll see what I see
Now I'm in a predicament
And I don't know how to explain
To a friend that's been a friend for so so long
Should I tell you how I feel or leave it alone?
Oh oh, it's amazing how intimidating
I never knew that it was you
And after all this time, it never crossed my mind
That in a friend, a love I'd find
You're special to me
And I hope that we can be much more
My heart is in your hands
So why don't we give love a chance
I finally know who he is
The boy you've been trying to help me find
And all of this time he's been right here
He's only around me when you are near
And you spend your time with him everyday
So you know he's perfect in every way
I've been looking for love, and he's looking at me
If you look in the mirror, you'll see what I see
I'm waiting on a love
A love that stands through anything (anything)
And everything (everything)
With open arms, I (I'm giving you my all)
And every part of me (every part of me)
Cuz I know you're my destiny (know you are my destiny)
You'll see finally (now I see finally)
I finally know who he is
The boy you've been trying to help me find
And all of this time he's been right here
He's only around me when you are near
And you spend your time with him everyday
So you know he's perfect in every way
I've been looking for love, and he's looking at me
If you look in the mirror, you'll see what I see
I finally know who he is
The boy you've been trying to help me find
And all of this time he's been right here
He's only around me when you are near
And you spend your time with him everyday
So you know he's perfect in every way
I've been looking for love, and he's looking at me
If you look in the mirror, you'll see what I see
I finally know
I finally know
And I'm so glad He told me so
I thank you Lord for showing me the one
And now my search is done
And you spend your time with him everyday
So you know he's perfect in every way
I've been looking for love, and he's looking at me
If you look in the mirror, you'll see what I see
this whole song relates to me in everyway. i love this song. fit for me and *him*. i finally found him. and i decided. im not gonna let him go. never. only if i have to then i will. but i dont think i will ever have to. well. i hope.
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| got it from my daughter anne. hehe. |
[05 Aug 2003|04:41pm] |
series o1 - basic info.
o1. first name - sheila.
o2. birthday - march 29.
o3. birthplace - frisko.
o4. current location - frisko.
o5. current school - lincoln.
o6. current job - i dont got a job. I WANT A JOB THO!
o7. nickames - haha. i hardly have nicknames.
o8. eye color- brown.
o9. hair color - black brown. just say my natural hair color cuz i didnt dye it after my haircut.
1o. lefty or righty - right.
11. zodiac sign - aries.
12. innie or outtie - innie.
13. religion - i dont know. i really dont.
14. piercings- 2 on my left. 1 on my right
15. tattoos - no tattoos for me. i changed my mind on that.
series o2 - what's your favorite.
o1. music - hmm. slow. rap. danceable. a little bit of korean.
o2. cartoons - sailormoon. which they dont have. baby looney tunes. so cute but never wake up at that time. x men. dont ask.
o4. movie - hmm. korean series shit. gotta be *endless love*. i love bad boys 2. soo funny.
o5. coffee - cafe mocha.
o6. book - i like the california dairies. =) and my chicken noodle soup for teens.
o7. magazine - well i dont know. i want teen mag. but i only get like marie claire (adult mag. which is somewhat interesting). but i think if i ask my sister to get the mag. for me she would. hehe. she offered one time.
o8. tv show - who wants to marry my dad? love or money 2. california dreams. maury-ish
11. spice girl - dont like them but kinda like their songs?
12. food - i dont know. anything that can satisfy me.
13. alcoholic drink - i dont drink. i hate the bitter taste.
14. subject in school - i dont know now. im not in school. but yea.
15. weekend activity - chilling anywhere.
16. holiday - i dont know. i guess i like all.
17. ice cream flavor- sherbet. and others.
18. perfume - cbc girls. dream.
19. roller coaster - i dont have much experince on roller coaster. and thats the truth. i pity myself. hehe.
2o. cereal - hmm. i dont know. kix (my childhood favorite). puffin. smart start. honey bunches of oaks almonds. lol.
series o3 - who is?
o1. the most handsome person you know - hehe ill leave this one blank.
o2. the weirdest person you know - i dont know.
o3. the funniest person you know - man. anybody can make me laugh. especially giggling.
o4. the loudest person you know - i dont know.
o5. the quietest person you know - not sures.
o6. the sweetest person you know - ronnie.
o7. the sorriest person you know - lol. someone who shall be nameless.
o8. the scariest person you know - hmm. no one.
o9. the sexiest person you know - all my homegirls and homeboys
10. ur best friend - i dont have a bestfriend.
11. person you hate the most - i dont hate anybody.
12. your crush? - hehehe. shush. somepeople know. but i shall leave this one blank too.
series o4 - what is?
o1. your most over used phrase on aim - *uh-huh.* *ok.* *i c.* *hehe*
o2. the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning - man. im still tired.
o3. the last image you thought of before you went to sleep - someone. who i shall not say.
o4. the first thing you notice about the opposite sex - straight up. EYES.
o5. best name for a butler - i dont know.
o6. the wussiest sport - golf? lol.
o7. song that describes you - there's lots of songs.
o8. your best feature - uhh. open minded? does that count?
o9. your bedtime - ugh. 1. maybe gosh hate my sister. shoot. why can i sleep at 2 or 3? dude. oo wells. got nothing to do anyways.
1o. your biggest fear - dont know.
11. your greatest accomplishment - i dont know.
12. your missed memories - a never ending list that is miles and miles long.
series o5 - which do you prefer?
o1. pepsi or coke - pepsi
o2. mcD's or burger king - im trying to lay off fastfood
o3. nikes or adidas - nike
o4. chicken nuggets or fingers - whats the differences? both finger food.
o5. dogs or cats - dogs.
o6. rugrats or doug - rugrats.
o7. monica or brandy - both.
o8. jay z or eminem - eminem.
o9. lipton or nestea - nestea.
11. chocolate or strawberry - chocolate. but i like the fruit strawberry. but not milkshake or stuff like that.
12. hot chocolate or hot cocoa - yumm. both.
13. coffee or milk tea - depends on my mood.
14. drinks with or without ice - depends on my drink.
15. thongs or g-strings - thongs.
series o6 - do you?
o1. take a shower everyday - yup.
o2. have a crush? oo yea.
o3. think you've been in love before - i think i am now. even tho i dont have a boyfriend.
o4. want to go to college - of course. dont everybody?
o5. like high school - i guess. depends on what.
o6. want to get married - yea. but if i dont then i want a kid atleast.
o7. type with your fingers on the right keys - i guess so.
o8. believe in yourself - uhh. dont know.
o9. get motion sickness - not really.
1o. think your a health nut - i wish i was.
11. get along with your parents - uhh. i dont know. i guess? i dont argue with them.
12. like thunderstorms - dont matter.
series o7 - your future?
o1. age you hope to get married - after college.
o2. number and names of kids - i dont know. i want a twin tho. names? andrew. destiny. kevin.
o3. where do you see yourself at age 2o - hmm. at school still.
o4. describe your dream wedding - i just want everything to be great.
o6. what are you career plans - i wanna be a fashion designer or something like designing. i dont think i wanna do anything with computers. its just too much for me. i go on the computer i dont wanna live my life around it you know? shit. i wanna go places.
o7. someplace you like to visit - hawaii. there's this one beach thats like a pampering beach and i wanna go there. you get to have massages and shit.
series o8 - what is your opinions of the opposite sex?
o1. best eye color - dont matter
o2. best hair color - anything but bleach! I HATE BLEACHED HAIR! better yet. NO HAIR! lol.
o3. short or long hair - of course short. i prefer spikey hair or shorter than spikey hair. lol.
o4. best height - im satisfy with a guy who taller than me. remember i might bust out with my heels.
o5. best weight - just built. its fine if he got a little - some meat on him!
o6. best article of clothing - dont know. anything that matches me? or the taste i have in clothing.
o7. best first date location - i dont know. haha. anywhere that he decides?
o8. best first kiss location - shit. i dont know.
o9. describe your perfect other - hahaha. dont wanna. got one already.
series 9 - other?
o1. what do you wear to bed - my pj
o2. when's the last time you slept with a stuffed animal - i always have by my side. its not big so it dont have much room.
o3. have you ever played ouja board - yup. SO BOGUS! fake.
o4. how many rings before you pick up the phone- if i know its my fone. 1. if i dont wanna pick up. then whenever i get annoyed. but usually 2?
o5. what's on your mouse pad - kim anderson. its one of these little kids. its a little girl and a little boy whos holding a red rose about to kiss. lol. cute huh?
o6. how many houses have you lived in - 3
o7. how many schools have you gone to - 5? 6?
o8. color of your bedroom carpet - beige?
o9. would you shave your head for $5,000 - nope.
1o. if you were stranded on a island name one person you would want to be in the island with you and 3 items - dont wanna name him. food. tv. i dont know what else.
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[01 Aug 2003|10:56pm] |
i havent been doing anything lately. just staying home. watching some chinese chapter chapter thing. and i finished it. it was good but somewhat sad. *sigh* i kinda cried. and i also went to like my sister's house and like target and krispy kreme. thats about it.
oo yea. since you guys know im been like listening to korean songs. i really like this one song. its in english too. its boa - *dont start* its good. i can relate to the song. here's the lyrics.
I been waiting for so long
What I thought I had for you is gone
But now you're calling me
You been checkin' loud
but you said nothing
When you knew that I felt something
shoulda' never fell for you
You wanna talk that game
but you ain't got the nerve
You're gonna trip on this
when you get what you deserve
*(I'm over you)
Don't Start Now
The feeling's come and gone
You played me far too long
Now I'm over you Toodle-oo Baby
Don't Start Now
The feeling's come and gone
You played me far too long
Now I'm over you Toodle-oo Baby*
My friends they tell me you're no good
I never listen but I should
But you ain't right for me
Now you're stopping over every day
Getting all your stuff up in my face
And that ain't what I need
There was a time when you were fine you were the one
And now I'm steppin' out
The deal is said and done
*Repeat
All I wanted was to chill some time with you
But I never got a single sign from you
Had to be a player crimin' with your crew
Thinking it was dope (I don't think so)
Now you're comin' on ancient history
Take a look around it ain't no mystery
Time for you to find another fantasy
'Cause I ain't steppin' with you
You wanna talk that game
But you ain't got the nerve
You're gonna trip on this
When you get what you deserve
Get what you deserve.....
*Repeat x 2
Toodle-oo baby...don't
there are other good korean songs. but i dont think you guys are interested. oo yea. that song is not a slow song. its up beat. so yea. another thing. i was watching BET. and i heard a good song. its called *i dont want to hurt you* by latif. its good. =) i like it. and its a slow song. lol. well. got nothing else to say.
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[28 Jul 2003|11:55pm] |
ive been thinking a lot lately. and like yea. and these are some of my thoughts:
i dont really care if i get married. i mean i would but if i cant. i just wanna have atleast a kid. i mean i want a baby cuz i would feel loved. you when times baby HELLA cries. and the only comfort tehy want is the mom's. well i want that kinda power to like make it stop crying. by the touch of my arms. i just want a bundle of joy when i grow up. and like its just makes your day just to see them smile and laugh.
dang. senior year. next summer. everybodys gonna be away. leaving frisko. staying at frisko. i just hope we dont lose contact. im gonna miss everything in preschool to being a senoir in high school. we have our whole lives ahead of us. i can see our graduation right now. a day full of tears and happiness. a time for us to realize how much friends mean to each other. and a time to grow up cuz we are not kids anymore. we are young adults. man. i cant really see us being senoirs and all. we all look so fresh! lol. =)
o yea. when surveys ask *what do you first see of the opposite sex?* or something like that. and i was thinking. the answer for me is their eyes. i mean if im looking down then its their shoes. but just like face to face. its their eyes. i guess it speaks a thousand words.
its somewhat true that love exist no matter what age you are. hey. marriage dont always comes like *o its true love* cuz you know sometimes they end up divorcing. and such. i guess love comes at moments. not forever until your dreams are REALLY REALLY fullfilled. i admit i loved people. i loved more than one guy. so what? i know love is suppose to taken seriously. but i did take it seriously. but i guess sometimes it doesnt work the way you wanted. life aint fair as people say. but when i do say *i love you* to people. i do mean it with all my heart! i dont like to BS people. i have friend love. family love. true love. and i do know that i love a guy right now. and it dont seem like im gonna stop loving him. cuz this is not a one sided love. its two sided. and its been like that for a few years. and im hoping it will keep on staying strong. cuz he does make me happy.
i think reading the *love stories* got me really thinking. and such. but im thinking positive. i think. =) well i got nothing to do. so all i can do is THINK. eat. read. sleep. watch tv. hehe.
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| UGH. DONT FUCKING ASSUME SHIT. |
[21 Jul 2003|05:20pm] |
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omg. someone called me today and that person told me that *this person* thinks im talking about that person. i mean like dang. am i talking about you only?! no i dont think so. shit. did i fucking say your name? NO I DONT THINK SO! the earth does not go around you. who you think you are. the center of attention. i didnt put it there just for you anyways. shit. i put there for some other reasons ok. and you're not the major reason for it aites. and i dont gotta tell yoy the reason cuz you aint nothing to me. and excuse me. thats been there for hella long ok. shit. i just name them people that aint *koo* in eyes. and maybe you're one of them. is it my fault? no i dont think so. i dont think people like bitches. pimp. hoe. and etc. am i right? shit are you admitting to yourself that you are one? cuz for sure if i am applying it to you i would say your name. or i would say like *hint hint* or somewhat that its obivious so everybody knows thats you. even tho if its you. i wont even bother with you. cuz you're not even my problem. cuz other people is on you. and im just here doing my own shit. i dont ask people for your fucking info. THEY TELL ME! i dont know why they tell me. i guess cuz i was your good homegirl and i might probably should know it. i dont know whats there reason. but if you dont want people to be hating on you. then you so watch what you doing. for reals. and dont be bugging my home boy while you're at it. have a nice life from now on. payce!
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| its about boys. if you dont wanna read it. then dont. i aint even telling you to! |
[20 Jul 2003|12:11am] |
*sigh* why do you make me seem like a doll? when i came back from the trip. you were all like *i miss you* and stuff. but then the next day you were like actting like i dont mean nothing to you. i mean you talk to me cuz im always there for you to talk to. one day you're gonna realize im not there anymore. i mean like i know im not important or anything but trust me. one day when im there for you anymore. you're gonna miss it and you would wish it was the past again. and wished that nothing happen between me and you. cuz im on the verge to where i dont wanna know you anymore. i just hope you just appreciate what i do for you. i know im not all that and etc. but i know everybody needs someone to be there for them. and to me. i dont think you can turn to anyone like you turn to me. i mean yea you can turn to another person. but they will not be like how i was to you. they might not put up with your shit but i do. i dont leave you hanging. and i dont act like i dont care about you. and stop saying that i dont care about you cuz you know for damn sure that i do. you just want me to just say it. but do you show that you cared about me even tho i was a friend and sometimes a little bit more. no matter what you did to me in the past i forgave you. no matter how much shit. pain. and bitching. i stuck by you. i was a true friend to you. i hate it when people (mostly guys) talk to me cuz im they think im always gonna be there. *he* and jayson does it. well jayson dont do it anymore cuz i dont even talk to him anymore. i dont care if he talks to me. or not. jayson straight up used me. he just talks to me cuz im always gonna be there. yea. he always say im his baby girl. but you know what? im only his baby girl cuz he know im always gonna be there for him. and he put me through hella shit. HELLA SHIT. yea i was hurt. but you know what i realized? he aint nothing to me. i aint gonna be there for him no more. he aint even in my life no more. he caused some drama in my life. and i did hella shit for him. and i dont know why girls be jocking on his fucking fake ass. playing girls left and right. i just hope that whoever his girlfriends right now knows that hes nothing but bad news. and nothing good can come outta his relationships. cuz its based on lies. and i was stupid to believe his sorry ass.
in conclusion to this is. im stupid enuff to be friends with people like that. and im always gonna be a friend to ones that deserves it. and people do take advantage of me. why me? what do i have that they wanna take advantage and hurt me? maybe too nice to some people. i mean to other people i wanna be nice. and sometimes im too nice that im calling for them to use me huh?
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[18 Jul 2003|11:47am] |
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hehe. havent post this shit for awhile. well i was gone for like 5 days? i went to LA and LV. if you wanna know how it was. its was HOTT. hehe. for reals. i kinda got a tan on my leg. but it still looks the same. but my feet. omg. it got tan again. and like dang. i did more sitting in the car than walking. and i notice that i go more eatting when im on vacation. i eat like 3 meals a day. and like when im at home. i eat like 2 or 1. =\ that why when i was in the car going back home. i set goals for myself to do over the summer. yup yup. and i cleared my mind in the ride. i thought through stuff. and like i was thinking about hella random shit. and hella stupid shit. OO YEA!! I WON A MONKEY THAT IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO WIN!! *hmph* finally i got it. shoot. ronnie and mikey was suppose to win me one. but nope. *shoot* oo wells. hehe. that was like so long ago. and yup. i did miss frisko. and i miss some people. keke. oo yea. lol. my sister drove faster on the trip than b4. lol. i was hella surprised. cuz shes a slow driver. i mean for reals. and its just shocking. hehe. i guess thats it. oo yea. i saw some ok/cute/*OoO* kinda guys. lol. hehe. enuff about this. im gonna go read now. bye
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[07 Jul 2003|01:35am] |
*karyn white – superwoman*
We don’t talk the way we used to talk
It’s hurting so deep
I’ve got my pride
I will not cry
But it’s making me weak
*tlc – I miss you so much*
I miss you so much
I long for your love
It scares me
'Cuz my heart gets so weak
That I can't even breathe
How can you take things so easily?
Baby, why aren't you missing me?
*trish – all this time*
Never thought you'd go
Oohh my love
You told me you would always be mine
Sometimes looking back
I see how happy we were back in time
Always said you'd be there
Where could you go?
You were mine my number one
there's some more coming this week? or until i get back from LA and LV. well im heading there on sunday. soo yea. hope i have fun.
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[03 Jul 2003|01:41am] |
lol. its weird. everybody is connected somehow. i dont mean like blood connected but like knowing connected. this is very small world. and its very surprising. i dont know how i got on this but like yea. from what i heard from my sister. and what happen to me. its just like *dang* wassup with that! lol. its scary. one of your friends might say *hey do you know so and so?* and you'll be like *oo hell yea. we go way back* lol. that kinda stuff you know? lol. *its a small world after all* =) but its pretty koo tho. cuz like you get to know them again. and like yea. hehe. but hey. maybe one of you guys are like my sisters or brothers. lol. im outta my mind. i dont think i got anymore brothers or sisters. cuz i have a pretty big family and like if i have a big family then why would my parents give children for adoption? i highly doubt it. lol. you know chinese people. the more kids they have. the more hope they have on getting sons? well i think that about my family. well especially my dad not my mom. so yea. i know im writing stupid shit. but oo wells. my journal my thought or whatever.
i cant wait to go to new park mall. too bad im getting my hopes up. i dont care. cant back out. for reals. lol. TOO BAD. i need my shoes and tops. keke. well. yea. *sigh* LA and LV cant wait. keke. i notice a lot of people are going to LA or LV or LA and LV. well i know isa is going to both. just like me. but when im coming back a few days later shes going. soo yea. anyways. i should go to bed. i hear my little niece crying. =\ bye.
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